It seems the days following Dougs return from being gone are always so challenging for me. i set up high expectations of myself, and him and then I feel like I fail at so many of them and it leaves me sad. Thank God I have the word to lift me up and remind me that all of my wordly expectations do not have to be met to giv eme complete happiness... God has given me all I will ever need and I hold strong to that.
Its hard to go along and be "ok" when you are fighting the enemy on the inside. Im so glad doug and i are doing the 2M at Guts this eyar together. I know it will help me to focus and I pray it willa lso help him to focus as well.
Mmm cappucino is good this morning. Love it when I make it myself and its strong but soothing to me. Love my coffee lately thats for sure. Ha.
I cant remember if I mentioned or not yet in my blog, but we had a reat time on our date the other night. Paula is a true blessing of a friend for dealing with my three kidgits as well as hers while we had some adult time alone. Melting Pot made our tummies happy *grin*.
It's been SO hot here the last couple of days. Doug went back to work on his typical Monday-ish Tuesdays (he works 4 10 hour days). I miss him already. Lol... silly huh?
Anyway Im going to get off of here and try to grabs omething healthy for breakfast before Vivi wakes for the day. Once she gets out of bed the fun begins! Muwah!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Date night!
I'm seriously giddy.... Doug and I are going out on a date tonight. I had an awesome day too. First I went bargain clearance summer clothes shopipng (makes no sense to me since summer will be in full swing for a while still around here in Okie Land but Im not complaining!). i got a really cute and a little sexxy dress to wear out tonight. Shows off the odd blotchy tan I have going on on my arms and shoulders..ha. Oh well. I dont typically wear al ot of things that are strappy or sleeveless because my arms are my NO SHOW danger zone.. but Im ok with it for tonight. I guess the older I get the more I just say WHATEVER Im not perfect and never will be in mans eyes, but in Gods eyes I am *grin* So why not live it up??? :)
When I got home froms hopping I jumpe dint he inflatable pool with Lexie and Deuce. We had a splahing good time while Doug laughed at us and snapped a couple of pictures (might share later). Now Im all dolled up and ready to head out to drop the kids off to the wonderful amazing Paula *bows to her greatness*. I LOVE having awesome friends who take such good care of me! I would say how lucky, but it is all in Gods plan to surround me with awesome people!
Yeap, Im out of control.. every sentence seems to have exclamation marks like a 7th grader... and then ight hasnt even begun yet. Not sure if Doug will be able to tolerate me by the end of our date. We are going to Riverwalk in Jenks to the Melting Pot. A treat indeed, but something we have wanted to do for a while. Made reservations for a quiet private table off to ourselves for lots of alone time to talk and enjoy each others company. I cant wait!
OK I need to get off of here and get the kids bag ready to go. Loving this weekend already!
When I got home froms hopping I jumpe dint he inflatable pool with Lexie and Deuce. We had a splahing good time while Doug laughed at us and snapped a couple of pictures (might share later). Now Im all dolled up and ready to head out to drop the kids off to the wonderful amazing Paula *bows to her greatness*. I LOVE having awesome friends who take such good care of me! I would say how lucky, but it is all in Gods plan to surround me with awesome people!
Yeap, Im out of control.. every sentence seems to have exclamation marks like a 7th grader... and then ight hasnt even begun yet. Not sure if Doug will be able to tolerate me by the end of our date. We are going to Riverwalk in Jenks to the Melting Pot. A treat indeed, but something we have wanted to do for a while. Made reservations for a quiet private table off to ourselves for lots of alone time to talk and enjoy each others company. I cant wait!
OK I need to get off of here and get the kids bag ready to go. Loving this weekend already!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Its been a few days
Wow it has been a while... Not neglecting the blog, just been UBER busy. My trip to St. Louis was... umm draining. Vivian is cutting teeth and was quite vocal about it on many occassions during the drive *sigh* On top of this she doesnt like to eat much when her gums are sore (cant blame her!) So it was a loud drive to say the least.
My Dads health is becoming worse and it scares me. Watching your Daddy, your HERO.. the guy you adore and thought nothing could EVER harm him become so weak and disoriented is truly heart breaking. He has althzeimers and Parkinsons. Both are progressing rapidly, and although I try very hard to speak the wor dinto both him and my Mother they just arent in a place to truly ecieve it the way they need to i fear.. so I pay, multiple times daily for them to finally get it. My Dad is not himself anymore. We had to watch him closer than I do my 2 yr old Son. He tries to sneak off out of the house, which is scary enough, but with them living in the middle of St. Louis City it is even worse. He imagines things and talks like they are real.. its so sad. :*(
In other more upbeat news, Doug is finally home. He met up with us in St. louis and we drove home together (in seperate cars). Imvery glad to have him home but it seems like we just havent had a chance to really reocnnect yet. His week back to work has been hard in the heat again. He is pretty exhausted each day when he gets home and I have been playing catch up witht he house so it has been really hard for us to even have any talk time. We hope to change that this weekend at some point with a date night. We'll see.
I have a lot on my mind as far as decisions to make in moving forward. Avoiding confrontation is not normally my cup of tea, and at this point I cant avoid it any longer. I honestly havent avoided it, just been distancing myself but now after sitting down over the situation I thought I would feel better but im very confused as to where to move forward with it. i know what is in my heart.. I just cant imagine cutting all ties with either side of this situation... so Im very much hurting today. It doesnt help that i woke up with a fever this morning and my ears feel like I have cotton stuffed in them and my throat is on fire. Im sure it is either a sinus or ear infection.. lovely. *grumble* Im HEALED in Jesus name. PERIOD!
OK Ive rambled on long enough. Have a great Friday all.
My Dads health is becoming worse and it scares me. Watching your Daddy, your HERO.. the guy you adore and thought nothing could EVER harm him become so weak and disoriented is truly heart breaking. He has althzeimers and Parkinsons. Both are progressing rapidly, and although I try very hard to speak the wor dinto both him and my Mother they just arent in a place to truly ecieve it the way they need to i fear.. so I pay, multiple times daily for them to finally get it. My Dad is not himself anymore. We had to watch him closer than I do my 2 yr old Son. He tries to sneak off out of the house, which is scary enough, but with them living in the middle of St. Louis City it is even worse. He imagines things and talks like they are real.. its so sad. :*(
In other more upbeat news, Doug is finally home. He met up with us in St. louis and we drove home together (in seperate cars). Imvery glad to have him home but it seems like we just havent had a chance to really reocnnect yet. His week back to work has been hard in the heat again. He is pretty exhausted each day when he gets home and I have been playing catch up witht he house so it has been really hard for us to even have any talk time. We hope to change that this weekend at some point with a date night. We'll see.
I have a lot on my mind as far as decisions to make in moving forward. Avoiding confrontation is not normally my cup of tea, and at this point I cant avoid it any longer. I honestly havent avoided it, just been distancing myself but now after sitting down over the situation I thought I would feel better but im very confused as to where to move forward with it. i know what is in my heart.. I just cant imagine cutting all ties with either side of this situation... so Im very much hurting today. It doesnt help that i woke up with a fever this morning and my ears feel like I have cotton stuffed in them and my throat is on fire. Im sure it is either a sinus or ear infection.. lovely. *grumble* Im HEALED in Jesus name. PERIOD!
OK Ive rambled on long enough. Have a great Friday all.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Independence Day.. totally independent!
Well Im revving up for what might end up being my most challenging Independence Day weekend ever! Now tomorrow will be a no brainer. Tracy and her neice and stepson willbe coming out for food, laughs, the kids will swim int he pool and then enjoying the block party in our neighborhood and fireworks as it gets dark. Now Saturday should prove to be MUCH more interesting.
Ive talked it over with Doug and I think Im going to go ahead and just show up at my Aunts suprise birthday party and faily fireworks celebration on Saturday. If I leave early enough in the day I can be there by afternoon and the kids can get some much needed running and playing out of their systems before heading to my families house to sleep. It will be a challenge.. a HUGE one, but i think I am up for it. I do think I will make he treck back alone too though rather than waiting for Doug to come back through. It just doesnt make sense for me to stay there... more than likely he will want my help or naviagtion skills in cas eof problems on the road again like his way there. That was a nightmare! He didnt have GPS but he had his "gps wife" on his bluetooth keeping him directed step by step with google maps! haha!
I have a lot to get accomplished if I DO intend on completing this task though. I need to get htings ready for the cooking tomorrow, and then I need to whip my butt into packing gear for me and the kids. I think just taking enough diapers for 3 days will work plus the trip. If I need more I can buy more, ya know? Besides it will save room in the SUV, althoghI dont think we will have issues with that. Im hesitant for just showing up since my parents arent good with suprises (especially Mom) but hopefully it will be a positive thing or else I will just stay with sumone else in the fam.
*sigh* I really am missing Doug a lot today. He has a night vision goggle flight tonight and a test this afternoon so I havent heard much from him. He said he would call me when he breaks for dinner. I'm looking forward to that call.
Dreaming of 10 days from now......
Ive talked it over with Doug and I think Im going to go ahead and just show up at my Aunts suprise birthday party and faily fireworks celebration on Saturday. If I leave early enough in the day I can be there by afternoon and the kids can get some much needed running and playing out of their systems before heading to my families house to sleep. It will be a challenge.. a HUGE one, but i think I am up for it. I do think I will make he treck back alone too though rather than waiting for Doug to come back through. It just doesnt make sense for me to stay there... more than likely he will want my help or naviagtion skills in cas eof problems on the road again like his way there. That was a nightmare! He didnt have GPS but he had his "gps wife" on his bluetooth keeping him directed step by step with google maps! haha!
I have a lot to get accomplished if I DO intend on completing this task though. I need to get htings ready for the cooking tomorrow, and then I need to whip my butt into packing gear for me and the kids. I think just taking enough diapers for 3 days will work plus the trip. If I need more I can buy more, ya know? Besides it will save room in the SUV, althoghI dont think we will have issues with that. Im hesitant for just showing up since my parents arent good with suprises (especially Mom) but hopefully it will be a positive thing or else I will just stay with sumone else in the fam.
*sigh* I really am missing Doug a lot today. He has a night vision goggle flight tonight and a test this afternoon so I havent heard much from him. He said he would call me when he breaks for dinner. I'm looking forward to that call.
Dreaming of 10 days from now......
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
What in the world is going on?
Wow... after hearing from many of my friends today I can't help but feel so lucky to just have my health, my kids happy and healthy and nothing bad going on. Being thankful to God for thos ekind of things has made it much easier to feel safe and secure in a time when it seems so much bad is happening around me.
A friend Emily had bad news today via a phone call at 6AM. Her husband is a PI and was onthe road on a case.. his vehicle was struck by another vehicle that crossed the center line on a narrow mountain road. His car sqirled around and luckily he didnt suffer as bad as it could have been.. torn up arm and hand.. minor other stuff.. but wow.. so scary. Not to mention his truck wa sint he shop for repairs that is costing him a TON more than it should, SO you guessed it.. he totaled a rental car. *sigh*
Financia woes have so many of my friends in a hurting spot that it breaks my heart. God has aplan.. and it is going to work out... people are put in our lives for a reason..... Im a firm believer in that. Money is a big fat root of evil... I honestly would be lying if I didnt say I HATE money. Sure i like to have it to spend and pay bills, etc.. but the strife and worry it causes the people I love.. it makes me ill.
Doug is also in a tight position right now. He is down to the wire.. 9 days and counting as of the AM. He has a really rough 9 days ahead of him too. right now it is 12:04 in Pennsylvania where he is.. and he is STILL in the classroom working on his examination he had to create as an instructor (he is going thru the school to become a lead flight instructor, which means he has to LEARN how to teach a course on flight instruction... so confusing! haha) and he is doing a powerpoint presentation, which is a skeery thought to be honest. I mean he is a smart guy, but not very computer savvy... poor thing! Please pray for him!
Then I read on my friends blog that her sweet daughter who is (was *sniffle*) an aweosme babysitter for us before they moved away found thier family pet had passed away. I bawled like a baby reading her entry.. Im so emotional right now it isnt even funny. These are just a few of the various things Ive come accross today alone. So insane!
So yea, I have been like WHAT is going on anyway? It seems so much is being shoved down our throats... so much negativity.. so much worry, anger, strife, hurt and plain ole CRAP!
Just go away devil... I command you to flee from ALL of my friends and family!
In Jesus NAME!
OK, need to go try an attempt at sleep.. ha.. sleep? Whats that?
A friend Emily had bad news today via a phone call at 6AM. Her husband is a PI and was onthe road on a case.. his vehicle was struck by another vehicle that crossed the center line on a narrow mountain road. His car sqirled around and luckily he didnt suffer as bad as it could have been.. torn up arm and hand.. minor other stuff.. but wow.. so scary. Not to mention his truck wa sint he shop for repairs that is costing him a TON more than it should, SO you guessed it.. he totaled a rental car. *sigh*
Financia woes have so many of my friends in a hurting spot that it breaks my heart. God has aplan.. and it is going to work out... people are put in our lives for a reason..... Im a firm believer in that. Money is a big fat root of evil... I honestly would be lying if I didnt say I HATE money. Sure i like to have it to spend and pay bills, etc.. but the strife and worry it causes the people I love.. it makes me ill.
Doug is also in a tight position right now. He is down to the wire.. 9 days and counting as of the AM. He has a really rough 9 days ahead of him too. right now it is 12:04 in Pennsylvania where he is.. and he is STILL in the classroom working on his examination he had to create as an instructor (he is going thru the school to become a lead flight instructor, which means he has to LEARN how to teach a course on flight instruction... so confusing! haha) and he is doing a powerpoint presentation, which is a skeery thought to be honest. I mean he is a smart guy, but not very computer savvy... poor thing! Please pray for him!
Then I read on my friends blog that her sweet daughter who is (was *sniffle*) an aweosme babysitter for us before they moved away found thier family pet had passed away. I bawled like a baby reading her entry.. Im so emotional right now it isnt even funny. These are just a few of the various things Ive come accross today alone. So insane!
So yea, I have been like WHAT is going on anyway? It seems so much is being shoved down our throats... so much negativity.. so much worry, anger, strife, hurt and plain ole CRAP!
Just go away devil... I command you to flee from ALL of my friends and family!
In Jesus NAME!
OK, need to go try an attempt at sleep.. ha.. sleep? Whats that?
Inspired
Thanks to a friend who just moved away I have decided to start blogging here and making note of all the great things God has put in plac ein my life. I have been bloggin for years. Sometimes just private entries for me to look back on and remember.. sort of like a diary, but this blog is for me, my family and friends who I wish to share how awesome life truly is and how Gods grace will SHINE on you no matter what it feels like you are going thru IF you allow it to happen. Stop trying and start trusting is always my favorite thing to say!
Anyway Im glad to be doing this here now. I love to write, but I will warn you when I get to going type way too fast and make major typos, so either just hang with it or if they annoy you too much dont read! haha!
Right now in my life im attempting to jumpstart a small catering business with a friend. So far we have a full menu, which I may post if anyone is interested so I can get feedback. Ive gotten letterhead designed and business cards ont heir way. Int he process of getting the legalities of it all done for just small events so far (probably 50 or less to begin with like showers, parties small weddings, office meetings, etc) and then we will see where it takes us.
Ahh my children. I had to smile as I just looked over at my camera and realized i need to unplug it. I downloaded some adorable pics of Vivian this morning. My youngest little chub.. she makes me smile from ear to ear. So adorable. Lexie and Deuce adore her as well... they make my life so complete.
We are currently missing Daddy a lot. He has been gone for nearing 5 weeks and its wearing on us, but we will make it the next 10 days or so until his return. I usualy do not do this wellw ith separation from him, but I am giving myself a big pat nt he back (and a HUGE thanks to God for my strength!). Let me tell you, thigns sure are easier when you can rely on Gods word to speak life into your circumstances rather than believe what the devil throws at you.. and BOY has he thrown some crap at me lately. It seems just before Doug left I wa sknee deep in hurt, anguish, anxiety and just unexplainable attacks in my ilfe... but I feel like I have rose above all of it and did what was right. I apologized for any wrong I may have done, I prayed diligentl about it and I pressed on. One thing i have learned int his short walk I have had so far with God is that we cannot change others.. we can only pray for them and hope that the wisdom God has for them in their walk with life comes to them. Wrong or right it is the truth.
So Im off to get the smallest of my 3 kidlets out of bed and then Im off to the grocery store. That can be quite an adventure with a 3 and 2 year old AND an almost 6 month old. Wow.. Vivi will be 6 months old on July 11th.. HOW is that possible???
Ciao for now my lovelies.
Anyway Im glad to be doing this here now. I love to write, but I will warn you when I get to going type way too fast and make major typos, so either just hang with it or if they annoy you too much dont read! haha!
Right now in my life im attempting to jumpstart a small catering business with a friend. So far we have a full menu, which I may post if anyone is interested so I can get feedback. Ive gotten letterhead designed and business cards ont heir way. Int he process of getting the legalities of it all done for just small events so far (probably 50 or less to begin with like showers, parties small weddings, office meetings, etc) and then we will see where it takes us.
Ahh my children. I had to smile as I just looked over at my camera and realized i need to unplug it. I downloaded some adorable pics of Vivian this morning. My youngest little chub.. she makes me smile from ear to ear. So adorable. Lexie and Deuce adore her as well... they make my life so complete.
We are currently missing Daddy a lot. He has been gone for nearing 5 weeks and its wearing on us, but we will make it the next 10 days or so until his return. I usualy do not do this wellw ith separation from him, but I am giving myself a big pat nt he back (and a HUGE thanks to God for my strength!). Let me tell you, thigns sure are easier when you can rely on Gods word to speak life into your circumstances rather than believe what the devil throws at you.. and BOY has he thrown some crap at me lately. It seems just before Doug left I wa sknee deep in hurt, anguish, anxiety and just unexplainable attacks in my ilfe... but I feel like I have rose above all of it and did what was right. I apologized for any wrong I may have done, I prayed diligentl about it and I pressed on. One thing i have learned int his short walk I have had so far with God is that we cannot change others.. we can only pray for them and hope that the wisdom God has for them in their walk with life comes to them. Wrong or right it is the truth.
So Im off to get the smallest of my 3 kidlets out of bed and then Im off to the grocery store. That can be quite an adventure with a 3 and 2 year old AND an almost 6 month old. Wow.. Vivi will be 6 months old on July 11th.. HOW is that possible???
Ciao for now my lovelies.
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