Ok so fall is always my favorite time ofyear. It always gives me excitement and allows me to regroup my thoughts and breathe a little easier.. that is before I start decoratingand sprucing up the house for an awesome holiday of Halloween, Thanksgiving and then.. ta da... Christmas! :)
Doug and i have been standing in faith for our mortgage to be refinanced at a much lower rate. Today our prayers were answered. This is a VERY big deal lemme tell you. Just 2 short years ago i hadnt ever imagined that we would be able to wrap our minds around home ownership, and now we are so lucky to have an interest rate that Dougs credit would have never qualified for otherwise had we not been able to do what we did back then. Wow.. God is awesome!
Now we are just holding strong on Doug not going anywhere. The word is right now all training is pointing to a deloyment in Oct 09 for him. So much can change between now and then, and Im staying confident he isnt going anywhere. Doug has been struggling a lot with fears and anxiety I think overall about it, and it is truly giving him faith a smack down beyond compare, but thankfully with us being so rooted in our church and having a great support system around us we have managed to stand so far and not take too much of a beating. We have had spats.. been forced to tears a couple of times, but in the end we KNOW God is going to protect our family and keep us safe and together no matter what.
Doug has really been fortunate to have one of the elder sin our church become rather close. He confide sin him and knows it willa lways be a positive and uplifting word without anything being just what he "should" say. Roger doesnt blow smoke up.. if you know what I mean. Luckily also we ar ein 2M this year together and it is so awesome. All of it is fiting together really perfect, all becuase we know Gods will is perfect peace for us. No worry, no stress... its all taken care of and paid in full.
OK I'm gonna have to cut this shorter than I had anticipated. Vivi is awake and im sure hse is hungry. Little sleepy head! Wake up at 11:30! I would say I wish I could sleep int hat late, but come to think of it no I dont.. I would have a sleep headache! hahah!
Ciao for now.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Been a while
Im trying to keep things in perspective here.. Fall seems it has come early, but im staying hopeful it isnt 90 when Halloween comes! Crazy Okie weather!!! haha
Doug has been on nights flight training for 2 weeks. Tonight is FINALLY his last night working. I had a real "moment" earlier whenI woke up. Let me first set the stage:
Yesterday was umm how should I say this? Difficult.. yea, that works. I made cupcakes, which I did beautiful lattice work icing on them, only for it to end up smooshing off o them afterwads under the dome (I guess the icing was too fudgy and not stiff enough becuase they were definately cool). so yea, this made me very upset after all my hard work *wah*
Then I missed Odugs call from work not once, but twice. Why does this bother me so much? Hmmm well probably because of the 10 hours that he is home each day (seriously Im not kidding, thats all he is home) about 6 or 8 of them he is sleeping. Gah! So every time I tried to call back he was in pre flight, meetings, or flying.
I ended up making dinner for me and the kids, of which they begged for hotdogs instead and I gave in becuase I just didnt want to fight about it (and I usually do not do this, trust me!). So I ate pot roast, potatoes and carrots alone.. and cried about it. How pathetic is that? LOL!
I stayed up until well after 12 waiting for a call but was sure i wasnt going to make it. I txtd him abuot 12:30 and said I was going to lay down and cover up becuase I was cold. I aske dhim to wake me when he got home.
He didnt. I woke up at 5-ish listening to Deuce pester his Dad to get up. I asked him why he didnt wake me and he said I was sound asleep and he didnt want to disturb me. *sigh* Its sweet and I didnt argue becuase I did need the sleep, BUT I needed adult conversation too.
So I got up this morning and was in a fowl mood. I found myself not being very nice in how I was dealing with the kids and this made me feel aweful. I stopped what i was doing and prayed. I just got alone and told God i had so much anger hurtand loneliness in me that I felt like I woul explode. i needed to explain it to Doug how i was feeling but I did not trust myself to do it with the emotions I had. I asked God to help me.. to give me a chance and to help me know what to say or what not to say. I felt like God was telling me to just leave it alone.. let him handle it. Ummm not my typical thing. Keep m mouth shut??? ME??? Not "discuss' the situation?? Unheard of!!!! HAHAHA
But I did it. I submited... I obeyed what I felt God was asking of me.
I went to the kitchen and made breakfast. Cooking alway sseems to help me get the issue sin my head under control. I asked Lexie to go wake her Daddy and tell him breakfast was done. He came out and hugged me, saying to the kids that im the best Mommy ever. *awe*. That made me smile. Then Doug cleaned up the dishes afterwards and it hit me... he smiled, sat down at the computer and said, "You know after tonight Im taking off two whole days".
*gulp* Wow, I had no idea! I was stunned. I wanted to tell him he needed to spend some time with me and the kids, take osme of the comp time he had accrued off so we could get reaquainted.. and I didnt even have to utter a word! PHEW!!!
So yea, its a long story, but seriously, sometimes our strongest member (our tongue) is best kept shut up in our mouth and let God do the talking!
Doug has been on nights flight training for 2 weeks. Tonight is FINALLY his last night working. I had a real "moment" earlier whenI woke up. Let me first set the stage:
Yesterday was umm how should I say this? Difficult.. yea, that works. I made cupcakes, which I did beautiful lattice work icing on them, only for it to end up smooshing off o them afterwads under the dome (I guess the icing was too fudgy and not stiff enough becuase they were definately cool). so yea, this made me very upset after all my hard work *wah*
Then I missed Odugs call from work not once, but twice. Why does this bother me so much? Hmmm well probably because of the 10 hours that he is home each day (seriously Im not kidding, thats all he is home) about 6 or 8 of them he is sleeping. Gah! So every time I tried to call back he was in pre flight, meetings, or flying.
I ended up making dinner for me and the kids, of which they begged for hotdogs instead and I gave in becuase I just didnt want to fight about it (and I usually do not do this, trust me!). So I ate pot roast, potatoes and carrots alone.. and cried about it. How pathetic is that? LOL!
I stayed up until well after 12 waiting for a call but was sure i wasnt going to make it. I txtd him abuot 12:30 and said I was going to lay down and cover up becuase I was cold. I aske dhim to wake me when he got home.
He didnt. I woke up at 5-ish listening to Deuce pester his Dad to get up. I asked him why he didnt wake me and he said I was sound asleep and he didnt want to disturb me. *sigh* Its sweet and I didnt argue becuase I did need the sleep, BUT I needed adult conversation too.
So I got up this morning and was in a fowl mood. I found myself not being very nice in how I was dealing with the kids and this made me feel aweful. I stopped what i was doing and prayed. I just got alone and told God i had so much anger hurtand loneliness in me that I felt like I woul explode. i needed to explain it to Doug how i was feeling but I did not trust myself to do it with the emotions I had. I asked God to help me.. to give me a chance and to help me know what to say or what not to say. I felt like God was telling me to just leave it alone.. let him handle it. Ummm not my typical thing. Keep m mouth shut??? ME??? Not "discuss' the situation?? Unheard of!!!! HAHAHA
But I did it. I submited... I obeyed what I felt God was asking of me.
I went to the kitchen and made breakfast. Cooking alway sseems to help me get the issue sin my head under control. I asked Lexie to go wake her Daddy and tell him breakfast was done. He came out and hugged me, saying to the kids that im the best Mommy ever. *awe*. That made me smile. Then Doug cleaned up the dishes afterwards and it hit me... he smiled, sat down at the computer and said, "You know after tonight Im taking off two whole days".
*gulp* Wow, I had no idea! I was stunned. I wanted to tell him he needed to spend some time with me and the kids, take osme of the comp time he had accrued off so we could get reaquainted.. and I didnt even have to utter a word! PHEW!!!
So yea, its a long story, but seriously, sometimes our strongest member (our tongue) is best kept shut up in our mouth and let God do the talking!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)