Been a while

Im trying to keep things in perspective here.. Fall seems it has come early, but im staying hopeful it isnt 90 when Halloween comes! Crazy Okie weather!!! haha
Doug has been on nights flight training for 2 weeks. Tonight is FINALLY his last night working. I had a real "moment" earlier whenI woke up. Let me first set the stage:
Yesterday was umm how should I say this? Difficult.. yea, that works. I made cupcakes, which I did beautiful lattice work icing on them, only for it to end up smooshing off o them afterwads under the dome (I guess the icing was too fudgy and not stiff enough becuase they were definately cool). so yea, this made me very upset after all my hard work *wah*
Then I missed Odugs call from work not once, but twice. Why does this bother me so much? Hmmm well probably because of the 10 hours that he is home each day (seriously Im not kidding, thats all he is home) about 6 or 8 of them he is sleeping. Gah! So every time I tried to call back he was in pre flight, meetings, or flying.
I ended up making dinner for me and the kids, of which they begged for hotdogs instead and I gave in becuase I just didnt want to fight about it (and I usually do not do this, trust me!). So I ate pot roast, potatoes and carrots alone.. and cried about it. How pathetic is that? LOL!
I stayed up until well after 12 waiting for a call but was sure i wasnt going to make it. I txtd him abuot 12:30 and said I was going to lay down and cover up becuase I was cold. I aske dhim to wake me when he got home.
He didnt. I woke up at 5-ish listening to Deuce pester his Dad to get up. I asked him why he didnt wake me and he said I was sound asleep and he didnt want to disturb me. *sigh* Its sweet and I didnt argue becuase I did need the sleep, BUT I needed adult conversation too.
So I got up this morning and was in a fowl mood. I found myself not being very nice in how I was dealing with the kids and this made me feel aweful. I stopped what i was doing and prayed. I just got alone and told God i had so much anger hurtand loneliness in me that I felt like I woul explode. i needed to explain it to Doug how i was feeling but I did not trust myself to do it with the emotions I had. I asked God to help me.. to give me a chance and to help me know what to say or what not to say. I felt like God was telling me to just leave it alone.. let him handle it. Ummm not my typical thing. Keep m mouth shut??? ME??? Not "discuss' the situation?? Unheard of!!!! HAHAHA
But I did it. I submited... I obeyed what I felt God was asking of me.
I went to the kitchen and made breakfast. Cooking alway sseems to help me get the issue sin my head under control. I asked Lexie to go wake her Daddy and tell him breakfast was done. He came out and hugged me, saying to the kids that im the best Mommy ever. *awe*. That made me smile. Then Doug cleaned up the dishes afterwards and it hit me... he smiled, sat down at the computer and said, "You know after tonight Im taking off two whole days".
*gulp* Wow, I had no idea! I was stunned. I wanted to tell him he needed to spend some time with me and the kids, take osme of the comp time he had accrued off so we could get reaquainted.. and I didnt even have to utter a word! PHEW!!!
So yea, its a long story, but seriously, sometimes our strongest member (our tongue) is best kept shut up in our mouth and let God do the talking!